From: "Sélim Massad" <smassad@kosmakare.com>

ONLY FOR EGYPTIANS " PLEASE "

You know you are an Egyptian when....

(1) You call any older person you've never met before : Uncle "Ammo" or "Khalu".
(2) Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook".
(3) You always carry excess luggage when you travel and learn how  to beg the personnel at the

      airport to allow the excess baggage  you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.

(4) Your dream is holding a different passport.
(5) When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting  for you at the airport.
(6) Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing

     like your family.
(7) You look for universities as far away from home as possible.
(8) You always curse at Egyptians when you are back home, but when you live abroad you make  

      many Egyptian friends, and say how wonderful  are the ones back home.
(9) Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding
(10) Everyone is a family friend.
(11) People are never happy with what you've achieved.  If you graduated from school they'll tell you

      "Oqbal el Shahadeh  el kebeerah", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroosa or Areees",  and when  

        you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when  you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi! !
        shahadit-hum", etc...
(12) You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really loud in Arabic all

        together.
(13) You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

(14) You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.
(15) When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to, so you

        won't bump into family or friends.
(16) You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.
(17) If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.
(18) Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents, unless you are part of the

       lower eighty percent of the population; then you live with them, even after marriage and go out

       with your wife on a date.

(19) You keep on saying Kol Sanna Wa Inta Tayeb left, right and center !
(20) You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn on the light " or"
        get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."
(21) You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice) unless you were raised also speaking a

        western language, a rare breed in present Egypt.
(22) You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of  how he had to walk miles just to

       get to school.
(23) Your parents were ranked first in school.
(24) Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself (Ya Ibnil....)

PS: Amannah Alikoom ... DO NOT fwd to non-Egyptians, balash fadayeh…

Sélim Massad - Montreal